" Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doctor, 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'" The doctor said, "I didn't say that.
I said you got a heart mummer and be careful." Quotes from Actual Insurance Claims • Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I didn't have. they're cramming for their final exam." Old Wisdom After working his farm every day, an old farmer rarely had time to enjoy the large pond in the back that he had fixed up years earlier with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and benches.
The man opens the freezer door, the parrot walks out, looks up at him and says, "I apologize for offending you, and I humbly ask your forgiveness." The man says, "Well, thank you. Carl was falling asleep but Milly was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart." Hard of Hearing An old man decided his old wife was getting hard of hearing. The next day she returned to the funeral parlor to have one last moment with Albert before the funeral the following day.
I forgive you." The parrot then says, "If you don't mind my asking, what did the chicken do? She said, "You used to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily Karl reached across, held her hand for a second, and rolled over to try to fall asleep. So he called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked. When the mortician pulled back the curtain, she managed a smile through her tears as Albert was resplendent in a smart blue suit.
I know we've been friends a long time, but I just can't think of your name. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her.
For at least three minutes she just stared and glared. " Hard of Hearing Morris, an 82-year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old man sitting on a park bench sobbing his eyes out. " He said, "She makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies, cleans the house and then watches sports TV with me for the rest of the afternoon." I said, "Well, why are you crying? First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.
" He said, "For dinner she makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love with me until the wee hours" I said, "Well, why in the world would you be crying? They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.
From the following list of 25 items, count all the ones that you remember -- not the ones you were told about! Be sure to pass this along -- especially to all your friends with really good memories.
They had known each other for a number of years being high school classmates and having attended class reunions in the past without fail. He went over the conversation of the previous evening, but his mind was blank.
This 60th anniversary of their class, the widower and the widow made a foursome with two other singles. He remembered asking the question but for the life of him he could not recall her response. And I meant it with all my heart." The widower was delighted. Then she continued, "And I am so glad you called because I couldn't remember who asked me!
Lately, their activities had been limited to playing cards a few times a week.
One day when playing cards, one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me.