So when it comes to initiating communication on e Harmony, Susan, please do not hesitate to send a set of first questions to someone whose profile catches your eye, and continue to do so with each and every one of your matches you have even the slightest bit of interest in.
Not only are most men thrilled when a woman lets them know that she is interested and finds them attractive, but when you start getting to know the men you’ve been matched with, you also may be surprised to find that your attraction for those who you weren’t sure about in the beginning might be stronger than ones you thought for sure would work based on profile alone. Then if there is mutual interest and you have been communicating online for awhile, let him pursue you to the next level—asking for your phone number—then if all goes well, perhaps out on your first date.
Indeed, in typical dating situations, many women prefer that men take the initiative.
This perspective is quite common, and may be right for you when dating in person.
Think of initiating communication as beginning a friendly conversation with no expectations, just a natural curiosity to know more about your match and their interests.
When you initiate communication with a match on e Harmony, you are not “asking him out on a date” or calling him on the phone.
You are expressing interest in communicating with him online—safely and anonymously—for as long enough as required to see if there is any interest beyond the profile and attraction level from photos.
e Harmony is less like a club, party or singles’ mixer and more a community of like-minded people who are looking for that special someone with whom they really click.
So unlike many in-person situations, the emphasis is not on who starts the communication.