Some examples: Feelings: I feel sad, angry, afraid, disgusted, pissed, insecure, guilty, shame, etc.Interpretation: I feel betrayed, used, controlled, mistrusted, deceived, etc. Your point about "interpretations", i.e, accusatory adjectives, is interesting. At the same time, some people do seem to find those words useful, probably if they are self-confident folks who are open to hearing all kinds of feedback.
But what I see ahead, even if he woke up tomorrow and started being able to really HEAR ME, is a really long road of me teaching and him following (the same as what's behind us) and I'm not sure I have the stomach for that any more.I taught him the tools to communicate where he's coming from, and he uses them.He even (mostly) remembers to ask how I'm doing, and stay quiet during the answer, which is more than some of my friends have.But I can't teach him to actually LISTEN, much less understand, when I talk to him about what is going on with me. dismissed, ignored, taken for granted, unsupported in my daily efforts to keep going, much less to rebuild my career, in the face of almost overwhelming health challenges.On the one hand, some folks are natural communicators like some folks are natural athletes.