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It’s not the one you’ve probably heard mentioned, that stock high school mortification dream where you’re walking through hallways and past rows of lockers, everything peachy-keen except for the part where you’re butt-naked and everyone is gaping at you.

Despite your condition, in that dream, you keep parading through the hallways, privates unleashed, unable to do anything about it, and in the back of your mind you know this is not good, not at all — at some point, if not already, there will be hell to pay for this little jaybird jaunt. In it, I lift my index finger to the corner of my right eye to pop out a gas-permeable contact lens (even though I haven’t worn these in years), and when I do, a steady stream of contact lenses begins to flow from my eye and won’t stop.

In the dream world, fantastic happenings, images, and transformations are normal currency. As for my dream about contacts, well, according to one online dream dictionary, “To dream of wearing contact lenses foretells that strangers will cause changes in your affairs. I took it out, but more and more contact lenses kept coming to the front of my eye.

Often such dream experiences are suffused with a depth of emotion or visionary insight that can surpass waking experience.” Other times, you just dream you’re playing Tetris all night long. In any dream interpretation, it’s not just about the dream and the symbols within. If you dream of losing a lens, or not being able to see clearly through them, it signifies that you are having trouble making good judgments these days. I took them all out and had a high pile of them, which were the size of dinner plates and they had gotten hard.

Freud, for his part, can stay out of my dreams, because I’m pretty sure that contact lens thing is more about me than it is about him. This is where, once a month, we’re going to talk about dreams.I had a dream where they because little white shirt buttons.And one where they became large, blue, round jewels, like the Hope Diamond.” But in the dreams I have most often, the lenses remain lenses, but grow large and cloudy.But when they were in my eyes they were normal size.I carried them in a pile and I threw them into the bin at work.” And yet another: “…in every dream they would change into something different, and I’d know there was something wrong with them, but I would still try frantically to put them in.

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