But I've heard it said: "I'd rather be single and wish I were married, than married and wish I were single." It's one thing to be lonely alone, it's an even more distressing experience to be with someone and still be lonely. We're all flawed." Some will even take it a step further and say, "It's about being the right person, not finding the right person." Yes, there's some truth there, but the Bible makes distinctions between the foolish and the wise.
Now is the time to look carefully at who you will marry – not after rings are exchanged! Romans says, "There is no one righteous, not even one." Every single romantic relationship has been impacted by the foolishness of two rebellious hearts! Though we all are a mixture of both, there are some qualitative differences between people. When we're excited about a relationship, it's easy to overlook the red flags that at least need to be explored.
But, it’s another if you’ve been together for a while and you believe he or she should take the next step.
If your partner isn’t willing to take this leap, then you may want to leap the other way. This even means they have trouble making set plans for even breakfast or lunch.
If your significant other has difficulty discussing the future, it may be about time to contemplate the future of your relationship.
If you ask the person you’re dating how long their previous relationships were and none of them passed a couple of weeks, this is probably a commitment-phobe red flag.
It’s not as if your partnership is horrible — in fact, everything would be close to perfect if your commitment-phobe significant other would just be devoted one hundred percent. Even after realizing you’ve got a partner who’s afraid to commit on your hands, you’re going to have to decide what to do with this awareness.
If some of this sounds familiar, you might be dating a commitment-phobe. Do you want to stay with someone who is afraid to invest 100% into you and the relationship? Or do you recognize that you need to be with a person who can give you more assurance? All I can do is offer you the signs that you might be dating a person who is afraid of commitment.
Facing pain can certainly refine us, but we don't get extra credit for walking into it, especially when it can be avoided. My hope is that many of you do move forward and make that promise for life. Some will say, "Since no one's perfect, it really doesn't matter who I chose to marry.
Or maybe you've been dating for quite some time now. The forces that compel you to move forward are not out to destroy you.
Perhaps you recently met someone who caught your interest, and you're hoping that with time you'll be able to discern if the relationship should move toward marriage. Even books on the subject of dating and marriage can convey a subtle expectation to keep moving forward: "Trust God," "differences are good," and "hey, nobody's perfect." All of that's true.
When you bring up the fact that you want to define the relationship, the person you are dating makes excuses to do so.
It’s one thing if you two just started dating and he or she isn’t ready for that seriousness yet.