While women only want someone to listen and commisserate, men want to take action and “fix it.” You can’t “fix” a woman who has experienced sexual abuse. It may at times feel like you’re bending over backward to cater to her emotions, but if you truly wish to pursue a meaningful, healthy relationship, you’ll have to be patient.
You can only be there for her while she finds her own healing, hopefully in part through her relationship with you. Frustration, anger and resentment on your part will only serve to add to her distress, drive a deeper wedge between you, and possibly destroy whatever progress you’ve already made in becoming close to her.
Domestic violence and abuse can happen to anyone, yet the problem is often overlooked, excused, or denied.
This is especially true when the abuse is psychological, rather than physical.
The bottom line is there’s a good chance any one man may find himself in a relationship with a woman who, at some point in her life, experienced sexual abuse. Women generally don’t want to talk about the abuse they’ve suffered.
Make an effort to understand what your partner is going through. Don’t push her to talk about the experience, but make sure she knows you’re ready to listen if she does want to discuss it with you. Unwanted touching or sexual pressure will only reinforce her sense of distrust.
Women who have been sexually abused can and do heal from the abuse.
If your partner has been abused, you’re in a unique position to help her on her road to healing.
One in every three women has been sexually abused in some form at some time in her life.
If you balk at these statistics, you’re probably not familiar with the many different manifestations sexual abuse can take. These situations are traumatizing and life-altering, but the “quiet” sexual abuse is just as devastating and widespread.