Sometimes I think the “normal” people are just people you don’t know well enough yet. We talked about relationships with parents, and how many girls have some “daddy issues.” I don’t have dad issues. My parents married at a young age, and have a successful marriage. However, neither Jessie or I would have talked about this stuff so soon without having the therapist as a soundboard. I spent five years seeing a therapist, so this isn’t strange to me.I wonder if that is part of the reason I am always trying to find the right person and why I feel like such failure when a relationship doesn’t work out. Jessie is currently in therapy, so it’s all good with her too. It seems to me his dating style could result from this. They have the best roasted carrots, and my favorite tequila jalapeño drink. Before the date, Tim had a messenger deliver a cute note: “Me You x 40. He told me that when his mother got pregnant, his father made her choose between keeping the child or staying with him.How do you feel about this relationship/project right now? However, this couples thing doesn’t feel natural or easy. Jessie didn’t like that I talked about how we approach money differently.I think I have have some sort of guard up preventing myself from seeing Tim as anything more than a very close friend. I wasn’t being critical, nor do I think it’s a big deal. I’m a product of growing up with out any money, so now that I make some money, I get nervous and like to save. I get uncomfortable talking about what could happen in the next 40 days.
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But really, Jessie and I should share a “JT” logo with him. I’ve been in relationships with guys both rich and poor, and a guys wealth does not interest me. Are we so desperate for companionship that we’ll compromise our happiness? I found the complicated dynamic of these different personalities to be an interesting twist on the usual character development. Tim told me about his last serious relationship with a girl he dated in San Francisco when he worked for Apple. Things were getting serious between them when she had to leave for business for a few months. One part of the play stirred up emotions from something that happened in my past.
Anyway, I feel like there was definitely a moment last night when we both said to ourselves, “Damn, are we actually doing this?! We went to our first couples therapy session together. He’s afraid of his commitment issues and doesn’t want to hurt me since he respects me. I learned early on that money does not make me happy. In therapy we talked about how I am extremely picky about who I date. I’ve wondered where the feelings actually come from, so I did some reading about it tonight. The play paints a pretty bleak picture of Americans in “Generation Me.” Maybe slightly ironic in the context of this project . The long distance scared him, and he broke off the relationship when she got back. I was slightly shaken up after the play so I told Tim about it to explain why I was acting strangely.
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